I was reading an editorial in the newspaper the other day which lamented the relatively poor position of American kids on the future economic global stage. Apparently our kids lag behind the children of other countries such as Finland and China in academics and, the logic goes, if our kids are lagging now in education, they will not be at the forefront of technology nor will they be leaders tomorrow. The writer didn't blame our school systems, or parents (a first!) but put all of the blame squarely on "American culture." He very eloquently said, "In China, Bill Gates is Britney Spears. Unfortunately, in America, Britney Spears is Britney Spears."

He has an excellent point. American pop culture is all about celebrity worship. We turn on our TVs and turn off our IQs. I know people who have not read a book in years but never miss an issue of People magazine. I've seen little girls wearing the latest Hannah Montana accessories. While I don't watch American Idol (apparently I'm one of only twelve people who doesn't), it is the number one show year after year.  The highest paid people in America are celebrities: actors, rap singers, sports stars, Donald Trump and Paris Hilton. (No one seems to know exactly what she does, but apparently she's paid VERY well). American kids want to grow up and "be rich and famous." Whatever happened to wanting to be a fire-fighter or a teacher?

Now please don't feel guilty or get defensive if you enjoy watching TV, or professional sports or if you listen to music. This isn't about the specifics of popular culture or a rant against the evils of entertainment. My point is that as parents and stepparents, WE should be the adults who are influencing our children. We are the ones who should be instilling values in them. We should be the examples that they follow. We should be...dare I say it?...their role models!

Kids are very observant. They see everything you do, they hear everything you say, and nine times out of ten, they will repeat it at the most inopportune times. You are the example that your children and stepchildren will emulate. Whether they admit it or not, the kids look to you to find out what it means to be a good person, a great parent, and a real grown up.

So, if your stepchild loves to sing and wants to be on American Idol, encourage their talent and show them how to use their gifts to help other people. If your kid loves to play soccer and wants to be the next David Beckham or Mia Hamm, show them how to be a gracious team player and explain why character matters. If your child says "I want to grow up to be rich and famous," explain that people get to be famous for doing something...and help them figure out what that something is that they are particularly good at doing. It may be teaching, or math, or chemistry, or writing poetry, or taking things apart and putting them back together. But in the process, you will be modeling listening skills, compassion, guiding counsel and love - all of which are essential for being a good person, a great parent and a real grown up.

"Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and anything worthy of praise, think about these things!" Phil 4:8.